Hey lovelies! Wednesday 10th October marked World Mental Health Awareness day. I opened up on my Instagram, and here I am about to open up on my blog to you too! Previously I have written a long blog post surrounding my mental health but I wanted to just update you all on how I was.
Obviously, a lot has happened in the last year. I have been pregnant and sadly Delilah was stillborn on December 29th 2017. Since then I’ve struggled through the year. I’ve faced incredible challenges and I am proud to say I have battled through them. I have had job interviews and had rejections. I’ve lost friends. I’ve struggled financially too. But here I am, still going, still fighting!
In March I felt hopeless, suicidal, worthless. I needed help, I just knew I’d have to get help before Kiah lost me as well as her sister. I finally built up my courage and spoke to my practice nurse at my doctors surgery. She actually had previously done an internal examination on my because I was so worried that I had something wrong with me, she offered me a listening ear so I accepted. I spoke to her for about 20 minutes but it felt like hours. I was then offered antidepressants which I accepted.
I’d never taken any antidepressants before and I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety in 2013 so I was very sceptical as to having them. They have, however, been helping me a lot. I still have awful days, days where I don’t want to be alive, days I don’t want to get out of bed but I don’t have a choice. I get up, go to work and concentrate on myself when I get home. I don’t allow my depression and grief to affect my work ethic.
I got offered my job and I happily accepted. I know for a fact that I have been getting better purely because I decided to start working again. I also know I am getting better because I speak out a lot more than I ever have before. That’s why I thought I’d share this short blog post, in hope that someone else will read and decide to speak out, seek help or even check up on their friends and family.
My comments are open, my social media is open, if anyone wants to talk please contact me!
Thanks for reading! Xx