Hi Lovelies! I was scrolling through Facebook where I have a lot of mommies and a lot of mommy groups. Nearly every post was about someones child and how they aren’t doing certain things that others are. I also see how a lot of parent’s try to make parenting a competition. As I am writing this it is 11:50am and I am wondering how people who have children even have time to compare or try and make others feel small via a Facebook status. So, I am here to share my opinion on the posts that I have seen!
When I had Kiah, I looked at her and thought no one will ever compare to you. I held her knowing that she was the definition of perfection. When she was developing and hitting “milestones” she was doing everything early. She sat up unaided from 3 and a half months, she was talking very early, she was crawling and cruising the furniture by 6 and a half months and walking dead on 9 months! The only thing that took her a bit of time was rolling over which took her 5 months. As any parent, I was beaming with pride! How clever my little baby was. I took to Facebook, sharing my joy with the world, my baby could walk at 5 months!
When posting such things in moms groups I got called a liar, said that I was obviously showing off and wanted to make others feel bad. It was then that I thought, in my innocence, that I wasn’t there to compare my child but I was there to show the world how clever my daughter was and how proud I was of her. Why did a statement from one mom exclaiming that her first-born was hitting milestones early trigger other moms to take such a defense? It made me feel guilty for feeling proud of my little girl. Kiah hit 13 months when she got her first tooth. Before she got her tooth I’d panic that there was something wrong with her gums and that she’d have to have them scored. When I posted on mom’s pages other moms shot me down immediately with Every baby develops differently! If this was true why did they get so defensive when I posted how proud I was and told me Parenting isn’t a competition you know!
I then soon started to think about the parents that have to blast about the expensive clothes, shoes, pram, ect… that they have bought for their bundle of joy. Maybe it was because I had seen so many mom’s get their backs up and it rubbed off on me but I started to look at the images and posts as a bit of a competition. It was like parent’s were saying Look at what we got for our baby! Kind of like they were rubbing it in. Not having thousands of pounds to spare ourselves it made me feel slightly inferior. I’d see other mom’s getting upset over similar things and then they’d try to one up the other moms. This is where I come to my point!
This is not parenting Top Trumps! You should not compare your child nor your ability to parent against anyone else on social media! Remember, they will only post the ups. They won’t post how they have had 3 meltdowns this morning or how they may have bought the most expensive pram but they are having to work all hours of the day and miss out on the extra time with their baby just to fund it. Don’t feel afraid to share with the world how amazing you find your child, how clever they are! Please remember, ever child is precious, every parent has had a meltdown and we don’t all have it easy!
I would love to hear your opinions of competitive parenting and if you have any examples or experiences!
Thanks for reading! Xx